Mismatched Lists, Part Two

This is part two of our discussion on mistakes that crop up when authors write lists; you can find part one here. In part one, we discussed mismatched lists of nouns; today, we’ll discuss lists of actions. For instance:

     Before he could go out for the evening, Jeremy had some chores to get done, like walking the dog, cleaning out the car, and run to the store for snacks.

     Do you realize how much effort I put into this? I had to research all of the information myself, tracked down the original designers, and convinced them to help me put together a matching setup.

Can you see the problem with those lists? The items in these lists don’t all match. Let’s play a game of “one of these things is not like the others”:

     walking the dog

     cleaning out the car

     run to the store for snacks

The first two items in the list begin with “-ing” verbs (we’ve discussed those several times before), but the final item in the list does not (it begins with an imperative verb, if you’re curious). That’s a problem—when you list actions like this, the format of each action needs to match the others. Partly, we do this because symmetry looks and sounds better. But it’s often more than that.

The formatting of each action needs to match up with the portion of the sentence that introduces the list. You should be able to remove all of the actions in the list but one (any one) and still have the sentence make sense. Let’s look at the second example above in this manner:

     I had to research all of the information myself.

     I had to tracked down the original designers.

     I had to convinced them to help me put together a matching setup.

That didn’t work, did it? Those second two items on the list switched to past-tense verbs, even though the introductory text required an infinitive form of the verb (the basic, “unchanged” form of the verb). We can fix the sentence in one of two ways: we can fix the second two entries in the list or we can change the introductory text and first item in the list.

     I had to research all of the information myself, track down the original designers, and convince them to help me put together a matching setup.

     I researched all of the information myself, tracked down the original designers, and convinced them to help me put together a matching setup.

It’s that simple: items in a list should match one another in format, especially when it comes to the tense of the verb.

Subject-Verb Agreement, Part Two: Collective Nouns

Last time, we discussed a few common things that cause writers to make mistakes with their subject-verb agreement. Today we’ll discuss a few more.

Collective Nouns

A collective noun is a word that defines a group as a single unit—words like team, family, staff, crowd, audience, band, and so forth. Technically speaking, such nouns are singular and can be pluralized like any other noun: teams, families, etc.

When it comes to subject-verb agreement, however, collective nouns don’t always act singular. Take these two examples:

     The jury is delivering its verdict.

     The jury are taking their seats.

In the first example, the word jury is singular; in the second, it is plural. Why the difference? Well, in the first example, we’re referring to the jury as a single unit doing one thing—we’re focused on the action of the group, and not the individuals in the group, so jury is treated as a singular noun. In the second example, we’re thinking of the individuals within the group—several people taking several seats, rather than one unit taking a seat. In this sort of usage, it is acceptable to treat the collective noun as a plural. Here are some other examples:

     The audience is losing its energy.

     Remind the audience to look beneath their seats to see if they won a prize.

     The class is behaving well today.

     The class are preparing their presentations for tomorrow.

Now, if the examples of collective nouns used as plurals seem odd, that’s because they are—in the United States, at least. Many of them would sound more natural if an actual plural noun were substituted for the collective noun:

     The jury members are taking their seats.

     The students are preparing their presentations for tomorrow.

Proper collective nouns

A proper noun is a name or title of some sort; a proper collective noun, therefore, is a name or title that refers to a group.

Bands and other musical groups: Generally, musical groups should take the form of verb and pronouns that suits the form of their name.

     The Red Hot Chili Peppers are amazing in concert.

     Queen is still my favorite band.

Companies and other organizations: The names of companies should generally be treated as singular.

     Marvel has announced its next few movies.

     General Motors hasn’t sold as well as expected.

Note, however, that it is not uncommon to use plural construction with companies whose name is a series of names (with or without a word like “associates” at the end).

     Williamsen, Ovard, and Associates have had a great year.

Sports teams: Generally speaking, sports teams are treated as plurals, no matter the form their name takes.

     The Utah Jazz have been performing well since they changed their lineup.

But when we refer to a team by the location where it resides, however, it usually takes the singular:

     Chicago is just destroying anyone that comes against it on the court.

(Note that these guidelines are for US usage. In the UK and many other places, it is more common to use the plural whenever the actions of a group are being described.)

Also note that these guidelines are for existing collective nouns; if you're writing speculative fiction that delves into the notion of collective in a far more literal or complicated manner, then you're on your own when it comes to figuring out how to properly determine where to use the plural or the singular. Good luck.

Subject-Verb Agreement, Part One

On the surface, subject-verb agreement is a simple topic: almost every sentence requires a subject and a verb, and that verb (and everything else in the sentence) should be properly conjugated to match the subject. In other words, if your subject is singular, your verb should be singular; if your subject is plural, your verb should be plural; if your subject is first-person, then your verb should be first person; and so on.

     INCORRECT: My brother are ski instructor.

     CORRECT: My brother is a ski instructor.

     INCORRECT: My sisters is detective.

     CORRECT: My sisters are detectives.

     INCORRECT: I are a writer.

     CORRECT: I am a writer.

Ninety-five percent of the time, subject-verb agreement is just that easy—you have a subject, you properly conjugate its verb without even thinking, and you move on. Every now and then, however, complications creep in. Usually, these difficulties arise because of a long or confusing sentence structure has made the subject of the sentence unclear.

     As I watch, a strange blue substance full of floating, glowing spheres spread across the window.

I’ve italicized the verb in that subject, but where is the subject? It’s not spheres—the glowing spheres are inside the subject, which is the substance. Substance is singular, not plural—so it doesn’t spread, it spreads.

     As I watch, a strange blue substance full of floating, glowing spheres spreads across the window.

Another frequent cause of subject-verb disagreement is compound subjects—when more than one subject is performing a single action in unison. Compound subjects are treated as a plural subject, even if the individual subjects are singular:

     INCORRECT: My father and mother tells me to behave myself.

     CORRECT: My father and mother tell me to behave myself.

Note: A compound subject will always be two or more subjects joined by the word and. If the subjects are joined by a phrase such as together with, as well as, or along with, then the first subject determines the conjugation of the verb:

     My wife, together with her sisters, is going on vacation.

     My wife and her sisters are going on vacation.

The conjunction or also doesn’t create compound subjects; if two potential subjects are paired using the word or (or nor), the verb should agree with whichever subject is closest to it:

     Either my cousin or my friends are going to pick me up after work.

     Neither my friends nor my cousin is going to be able to pick me up.

So remember to keep an eye on any particularly long and complicated sentences and any sentences with compound subjects to be sure that the subject-verb agreement is intact. Next week, we’ll cover other situations in which problems with subject verb agreement commonly arise.

Word Mix-Ups: "Amused" and "Humored"

Amused and humored are yet another pair of words that I see many authors attempt to use interchangeably, but which are not in fact interchangeable.

To amuse means “to entertain or occupy in a light, playful, or pleasant manner” or “to appeal to the sense of humor of.” In the form amused, it can be used as either a past-tense verb or an adjective:

     Past-tense verb: He amused himself for hours on the internet.

     Adjective: She did her best not to look amused.

Generally, when writers confuse these two words, they are using humored as an adjective where they should have used amused:

     Anya was glad to see Lilia laugh; it had been a long time since she’d seen her sister so humored.

     I chuckled, mildly humored.

The confusion here likely arises because, as we all know, the noun humor and the adjective humorous both relate to amusement—respectively, they designate the capacity to recognize something as silly, ludicrous, funny, or amusing and the state of being silly, ludicrous, funny, or amusing. The problem is that humored is neither a noun or an adjective; it is a verb that means something entirely different.

To humor means “to soothe or content by indulgence” or “to adapt oneself to.” Basically, it means “to indulge someone for the purpose of calming them down or pleasing them.”

     The old woman claimed that there was a dragon in her living room. We humored her and searched the whole house, but of course we didn’t find a thing.

Humor can also mean "bodily fluid." I was going to give you a picture to go along with that little fact, but I thought better of it. Have a picture of an amused baby instead.

You should generally be able to replace the verb to humor with the verb to indulge. If you can’t, you’re probably not using it correctly. So, using our examples from above:

     CORRECT: The old woman claimed that there was a dragon in her living room. We indulged her and searched the whole house, but of course we didn’t find a thing.

     INCORRECT: Anya was glad to see Lilia laugh; it had been a long time since she’d seen her sister so indulged.

P.S.

I have also seen humored used where the author actually meant good-humored. They are not synonyms.

Tense Errors: Switching Between Past and Present

All right. Now that we’ve gone over the two types of tense that most stories are written in (past or present) we can get to the fun part—how people screw it up!

The most common type of tense error is simple: the narrative switches from past to present tense or from present to past tense when it shouldn’t. This is usually a quick, momentary mistake.

 We've all learned that switching back and forth between past and present when we don't intend to is a dangerous thing.

Here's an example passage:

     Spring had finally arrived in Chicago. I stood at my window, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun on my face and admiring the blossoms on the trees. The last of the snow has finally melted into puddles that are perfect for children to splash in. I smiled, glad that the long winter was finally over.

     Winter ending meant that my brother would soon return home. I was a little nervous. My brother was an unpredictable, even volatile man. There were times that he loses his temper unexpectedly but then calms down almost immediately. He inherited the trait from our father.

There’s a few errors of tense in that passage. Fixing them is simply a matter of identifying where the tense is incorrect and switching it back. If you have trouble picking the errors out, remember that tense is always contained in the verbs.  Nouns, adjectives, adverbs—every part of the language remains the same from past tense to present tense except for the verbs.

So, let’s highlight the verbs in that passage. We'll skip the gerunds and participles (the "ing" verbs), the unconjugated verbs ("to _____"), and other verb forms that won't generally change from past to present usage.

     Spring had arrived in Chicago. I stood at my window, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun on my face and admiring the blossoms on the trees. The last of the snow has melted into puddles that are perfect for children to splash in. I smiled, glad that the long winter was finally over.

     Winter ending meant that my brother would soon return home. I was a little nervous. My brother was an unpredictable, even volatile man. There were times that he loses his temper unexpectedly but then calms down almost immediately. He inherited the trait from our father.

Simple enough, right? Now let’s separate them by their tense—past tense in green and present tense in orange.

     Spring had arrived in Chicago. I stood at my window, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun on my face and admiring the blossoms on the trees. The last of the snow has melted into puddles that are perfect for children to splash in. I smiled, glad that the long winter was finally over.

     Winter ending meant that my brother would soon return home. I was a little nervous. My brother was an unpredictable, even volatile man. There were times that he loses his temper unexpectedly but then calms down almost immediately. He inherited the trait from our father.

The passage is written in past tense, so we simply need to take the present tense verbs and switch them to past tense.

     Spring had arrived in Chicago. I stood at my window, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun on my face and admiring the blossoms on the trees. The last of the snow had melted into puddles that were perfect for children to splash in. I smiled, glad that the long winter was finally over.

     Winter ending meant that my brother would soon return home. I was a little nervous. My brother was an unpredictable, even volatile man. There were times that he lost his temper unexpectedly but then calmed down almost immediately. He inherited the trait from our father.

And that’s that. If this seemed easy to you, that’s good—this should come pretty naturally to most people. If this didn't seem easy to you, that's okay—it's because tenses aren't actually as simple as just "past" and "present." In the future, we’ll discuss how errors can crop up in tenses most people don’t even know exist!

Minding Your "ings" Part Two

Last time we discussed the need for present participles (a form of verb that ends in “ing”) to be paired with a subject that performs the action. For instance:

     As Brad was running to the bus stop, rain began to fall.

    

In this example, both actions (running and began to fall) have a subject attached (Brad and rain, respectively), so the sentence is constructed correctly. We’re good so far. Now take a look at this example:

     Running to the bus stop, Brad climbed onto the bus.

Once again, the participle is not dangling—Brad is performing both actions (running and climbed). So what was wrong with this sentence?

You may remember that in the last post, I mentioned that the phrase “Running to the bus stop,” was a type of adverbial phrase—a phrase that acts like an adverb. Adverbs modify verbs, adding more detailed information as to how the action was performed. Words like quickly or suspiciously are adverbs, as is the phrase “like a ___.” (He landed like a cat.)

“Running to the bus stop,” is an adverbial phrase that tells us when the primary action of the sentence (climbed) was performed—it was performed while Brad was running to the bus stop. And that’s the problem with our example sentence: Brad couldn’t have climbed onto the bus while he was running to the bus stop. He would have run to the bus stop and then climbed onto the bus.

Now, just like last time, you don’t have to remember that whole explanation about adverbs and adverbial phrases. (Though it won’t hurt your writing if you do!) What you need to remember is this: phrases with “ing” verbs are used to imply simultaneous action. If the two actions don’t take place at the same time, you cannot use the “ing” form of the verb. (Most of the time. I’ll show you an exception in a moment.)

So, here’s a corrected version of our previous sentence:

     Brad ran to the bus stop and climbed onto the bus.

Bam! First one action, then another—it doesn’t get any simpler than that.  However, here is another fix:

     After running to the bus stop, Brad climbed onto the bus.

    

This is the exception that I mentioned earlier. If you add an adverb that changes the timing of the adverbial phrase, such as after or before, so that the actions are no longer simultaneous, then you can still use the “ing” verb.

P.S.

The same principles apply to phrases that begin with while and as—these words imply simultaneous action, so they cannot be used with actions that couldn’t take place simultaneously.

But wait, this isn't all! For more on minding your "ings," check out this post.

Minding Your "ings"

Running to the bus stop, rain began to fall.

This sort of sentence pops up a lot in stories that I edit. Tell me: in the example above, who is running? There are two nouns in the sentence (“the bus stop” and “rain”), but neither of them is running. That’s the problem here—you generally can’t have an action in a sentence without a subject to perform it. “Rain” is the subject of the sentence (you can tell because it’s the only noun that’s performing an action—in this case, beginning to fall). Since there isn’t any other subject, this sentence implies that the rain was running to the bus stop when it began to fall.

Let’s get technical for a moment. Running, like many “ing” forms of verbs, is what we call a present participle. Present participles have many uses—in the example above, the participle is being used to indicate that an action (running) is taking place simultaneous to another action (the rain beginning to fall). The entire phrase (“running to the bus stop”) is what we call an adverbial phrase—that is, a phrase that acts as an adverb, modifying action. But even though the phrase is acting as an adverb, the present participle is still a verb; it needs to have a subject performing the action, and that subject has to be present in the same sentence as the participle. When the subject that should be attached to a participle is missing, we call this a dangling participle.

Now, you don’t actually have to remember all of that. Here’s what you need to remember: if you use an “ing” verb, it still needs to be performed by a subject. With that in mind, there are several ways that we could fix our example sentence:

     As Brad was running to the bus stop, rain began to fall.

     Running to the bus stop, Brad was dismayed when rain began to fall.

     Rain began to fall. Running to the bus stop, Brad was caught right in the middle of it.

In the first solution, we simply insert the proper subject into the original sentence. In the second solution, we make “Brad” the subject of the entire sentence, moving “rain” to a peripheral position. In the third example, we make “Brad” the subject of the sentence and move “rain” to its own sentence. Any of these solutions is adequate, though the first solution is strongest (see if you can figure out why).

Now, sometimes an “ing” verb can still be confusing even if the subject is present in the sentence:

     Brad left the group cursing.

Who is cursing—Brad or the group? If it’s Brad, then this could be cleared up by moving the “ing” verb to the beginning of the sentence:

     Cursing, Brad left the group.

Here are some other examples of dangling participles—if you want some practice, try fixing each of these:

     Reading a book, the dog scratched at my leg.

     She left the room sleepwalking.

     Opening the refrigerator, the milk carton fell to the floor and broke open.

     Falling from the sky in flames, the house was crushed by the airplane wreckage.


But be warned: this is not the only common problem that can arise with "ing" verbs. Check out these two posts for more.

Word Mix-Ups: Pour and Pore

Pour is a verb which means “to cause to flow in a stream,” “to dispense from a container,” “to give full expression to,” or “to move with a continuous flow.” You might pour milk, or pour out your feelings, or the rain can be pouring.

Pore, when used as a verb, means “to read or study attentively.” It is usually paired with the word over. For example, you might pore over your textbook in preparation for an exam.

To remember which is which, I like to imagine that the little “u” in pour is a cup, into which I am pouring water. If there is any sort of transfer of substance or expression of emotion, then you have to have that u to pour it into.

P.S.

Pore can be used as a noun, in which case it refers to the small openings in your skin through which you sweat. Poor is also pronounced like pour and pore; however, it is an adjective that means “lacking in money or some other substance.” They should be easier to keep separate, since they are different parts of speech, but watch out for them just in case.

Word Mix-Ups: Breath and Breathe

This is an error that I see a lot of writers make. And not just novice writers; I’m often surprised at how frequently this one crops up in the work of experienced and even published authors. Unlike between and among, which we discussed here, the problem here isn’t that authors don’t know the distinction between the two words; practically no one confuses breath and breathe when they’re speaking, after all, so it’s clear that we know the difference between the two words. The problem is simply remembering which word is which in our writing. So, let’s distinguish them:

Breath \’breth\ noun: the air that you inhale and exhale from your lungs when breathing. (She took my breath away.)

Breathe \’brēth\ verb: to move air into and out of your lungs; to inhale and exhale. (It’s so stuffy in here that I can’t breathe.)

Now, if you don’t know how to read the phonetic spelling of the words, that’s okay—I can never remember how to read those, either.  But when you saw that breath is a noun, that it is a thing rather than an action, you probably immediately knew that it was pronounced with an eh sound and a fully-voiced th, like “Beth” with an R thrown in. Likewise, when you saw that breathe is a verb, you knew that it is pronounced with a long ee sound and an unvoiced th. This is because, as I said before, everyone knows how to use these words already, we just need to remember which is which in writing.

So, how to remember? I recommend either of these two options:

1. Verb has an E in it, so it matches up with breathe, which has an extra E at the end. Noun does not have an E in it, so it matches up with breath, which has no E at the end.
2. Breathe has two Es, so it gets the longer ee sound; breath has only one E, so it gets the shorter eh sound.